Preview #3: (ACT I, Scene ii) (Part Two)

Here's the second part of the second scene! Enjoy!


(KIDD and PADDY EXIT hurriedly off L. BLACKOUT. The scene changes quickly to inside the Drunken Sailor, a messy pub full of KIDD’s crew. LUKEY, JACK, JAKEY, JOHNNY, and BILLY can be seen with other members of KIDD’s crew drinking merrily. ENTER KIDD and PADDY from the door L. The burst through and there is a still quiet as the drunken crew registers who’s just burst into the pub. Upon realizing it is their captain, they all cheer.)

JAKEY
(Raising his glass.) Look cap’n! Free rum!

JACK
(Cross. Mumbling.) Aye, for you.

KIDD
So I’ve heard, Jakey. Heard Jack is feelin’ a mite generous. (JACK, his head down, raises his glass and nods.) But who am I to keep ye all from yer drink? (The crew cheers.) Just be sure to ‘wake early tomorrer so as to get everything in our new boat. Want to be leaving by noon. We have a job in Yarmouth.

JOHNNY
(Excitedly.) Yarmouth?!

PADDY
Aye, Yarmouth.

JOHNNY
(Leaning back in his chair with his arms supporting his head, and his feet resting on the table.) Nice town, Yarmouth.

BILLY
(To JAKEY, grinning.) Aye. Nice town, nice weather, nice bar owner’s daughter. (They laugh as JOHNNY shoots them a glance.)

JOHNNY
Not that you’d know, right Billy?

BILLY
(Yawning.) I ‘ave me wife to fill that quota, Johnny. She don’t let me know much else besides ‘er. Evil wench of a wife, that one.

PADDY
Ain’ respectable to be speaking of yer wife as such, Billy.

JOHNNY
(In a mocking tone) Tha’s right, Bill, just because yer wife ain’ as pearly white and perfect as Brianna don’ mean ye can’t treat her nice.

PADDY
Watch it, Dhu.

PIRATE #1
(From the back of the room) Ain’ all gots wives as nice as yers, Murphy!

ALL
Aye!

PADDY
An’ where do ye all get off speakin’ as such, anyhow? Half ye don’ even got a wife!

JAKEY
Not wives, no. But we all got some beast of a woman lockin’ us down.

ALL
Aye!

BILLY
But wives are worse.

PADDY
And how so?

(Music begins to start as the song SCOLDING WIFE begins. During the song, the crew is drinking, dancing, and fighting throughout the bar, occasionally coming together to agree on their misfortune for having a scolding wife.)

BILLY:
Well I came into a scolding wife a few short years ago
And ever since I lead a life of misery and woe
My wife she is a tyrant around the room and in
Ah she'd sell me to the devil for a glass or two of gin

PIRATE #1:
Sure I'll get up and go to work as mild as any man
And she'll get up and dress herself and go and have her dram
And if I chance to say a word it's well I know my due
She'll follow me with the fire shovel up and down the room

ALL:
And if the devil'd take her I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang meself if I get married again
And if the devil'd take her I'd thank him for his pain
Oh I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again

JAKEY:
When I get up at breakfast time she'll tap me on the head
When I come home at dinner time I'll find her drunk in bed
When I come home at supper time at patience I must stop
'Cause she drinks what's in the teapot and I must drink the slops

ALL:
And if the devil'd take her I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang meself if I get married again
And if the devil'd take her I'd thank him for his pain
Oh I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again

BILLY:
Well once I asked me scolding wife if I could go to bed
She scare gave me an hour on the pillow to lay me head
When like a roarin' lion she came bustin' down the door
She caught me by the middle and threw me naked on the floor

ALL:
And if the devil'd take her I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang meself if I get married again
And if the devil'd take her I'd thank him for his pain
Oh I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again

BILLY, JAKEY, and JOHNNY:
Now me and my companions go to a public place
She'll search around the neighborhood until she finds my face
She'll hoist me up in ridicule before the company
Sayin' 'Petticoats is your master and forever more shall be'

ALL:
And if the devil'd take her I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang meself if I get married again
And if the devil'd take her I'd thank him for his pain
Oh I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
And if the devil'd take her I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang meself if I get married again
And if the devil'd take her I'd thank him for his pain
Oh I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
And if the devil'd take her I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang meself if I get married again
And if the devil'd take her I'd thank him for his pain
Oh I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again

KIDD
(Restraining an angry PADDY who has been hit in the face by JOHNNY during a skirmish that occurred during the song) Thank ye all for that enlightening insight. But I think it best if me and Murphy be leavin’. Just remember what I told you all and I’ll see you all on the morrow.

(KIDD EXITS L with PADDY. The crew continues to drink and laugh when JACK decides to get up and head out as well.)

JAKEY
Where you off to, Hinks?

JACK
Stuffy in here. Got to get some fresh air, eh?

JOHNNY
Just fresh air, Jack?

BILLY
I’d wager ye to be both wrong, right Jack?

JACK
Meaning?

BILLY
(To JAKEY and JOHNNY.) Jack’s not as hard as he’d like ye to think ‘e is. Gives money to the poor and the like.

JACK
And we all do.

BILLY
But you more so.

JACK
So?

JAKEY
I think it nice, Jack. That and you rescuing that crew just off of Cape Freels. ‘member that, Billy?

JACK
And I think you’d better shut yer yap, eh Jake?

JOHNNY
Whoa! Settle down there, you great fink! We think more of ye for doing so. And as I see it, it gets you a good hand with the ladies.

JAKEY
Aye. What’s her name? Jane?

BILLY
(Upon remembering.) Aye! Janie McCarron. Pearl merchant down by the bay. ‘cept she usually heads into to town when we show up. ‘spect she looks forward to seein’ us.

JOHNNY
Aye. Us (He looks at JACK.)

JACK
What yer talkin’ about?

JOHNNY
Ah, nothin’ of any importance, I ‘spect.

JACK
That’s what I thought. (EXITS L.)

BILLY
Good man, Jack.

JAKEY
Aye: good man. (Blackout.)